FALSE STEPS

I stood there, dressed to the nines, with a bouquet of beautiful and luxuriant flowers in my hand. It was not a black tie event, but I wanted her to see me looking dapper. Memories of her flooded my mind and with a deep sigh, I wondered how I had managed to stay this long without saying hi.

She, the beautiful soul, the desire of many...how ever did it happen? How did there come to exist such a wide chasm between us? It seemed like eons ago since we began a historic movement of the emotions. You and I both, we had a connection, and you'd cut my heart to find it bleeding for you, the object of my deepest affection.

I look fondly at the magic moments, the days of fun and sun, wine and laughter, cherries and blossoms. I messed it all up, always procrastinating when thoughts of you pass through my mind. I often made excuses to justify the emptiness, but now I feel downcast. My heart is a cloud heavy with rain, and, with tears welling in my eyes, I realize I want you back.

My mind is sure made up and having got this opportunity to find you once again, there is no losing you this time. In my mind I already played how the moments would be… would we lay on the beach beneath a starry sky, holding glasses of wine, recalling moments of yesteryears? Or would we have a more official approach, sit down at a coffee table forgetting any limits while we talk for hours?  Shall we just make it more natural and refreshingly beautiful by meeting up in a park or zoo, admiring the beautiful landscape while enjoying the company of the beautiful creatures prancing around? I don’t know for sure, but it’s got to be special. Just has to be.

“Hello! My name is Seye. I am Toyin’s dad. Aren’t you Deji, her friend from secondary school?” I nodded eagerly, excited at the fact that I hadn’t been completely forgotten. “Yes, I am Sir.” I responded. “Hmmm, good to see you after so many years,” he muttered.

You know Mother Luck has smiled on you when you get that kind of warm reception, but while we were engrossed in chatting, flitting from one topic to the next, impatience tore me apart inside, for all that mattered to me was to see my beloved, my best friend and longtime crush. I had borne the weight of this burden for years, not knowing if I would get a Yea or Nay reception, but I must declare my feelings this time and I mustn’t flunk it. I had not travelled 5261 miles over 30000 feet above sea level to fumble with finesse. At this thought, my courage level shot to a record high. “This is it,” I smiled to myself, “The time is now.”

“So, let’s make this a surprise. I would take you where she is without giving her a heads up.” Papa is trying to create a magical moment, I thought to myself. “Sounds like a great plan!” My face lit up with a customary broad smile, and like two buddies on a mission, we struck a deal.

We pulled over at a nearby clinic where Toyin’s dad worked, after driving for what seemed like a long time and all I could do to keep sane was count the heartbeats of the engine during the journey. I am glad that the wait is finally over!

I heard Toyin had pursued a nursing career, following her dad in the medical line. I imagined different scenarios of how special the reunion would be. What if she wasn’t as excited to see me, after all I was the one who abandoned a glowing friendship. Anticipation soon displaced my fears and my eyes sought to behold only one person, Toyin Tomato as I fondly call her. I sprang out of the car before it barely stopped, adjusted my suit and checked to confirm that my shirt was still neatly tucked in.

As we walked through the building, it turned out that the old man was Mr. Congeniality as he kept waving to X, hugging Y and shaking hands with Z, till we got to a room around the corner in the east of the building. “This is not an office,” I thought, as curiosity drained my emotions. The door flung wide open and the joy of my delightful expectations was rudely cut short.

I doubted that the figure on the bed was the Toyin I knew, but her face hadn’t changed despite her present frail-looking frame. “Papi, what happened?” I struggled to ask. “My son,” he responded, “cancer has eaten deep into our blossoming flower like a relentless leech. The cancer is at its last stage and Toyin has little or no chance to survive." Like a couple patiently awaiting the delivery of their first child, the family has resigned to fate and await when the flower would be plucked off Garden Earth. I wept uncontrollably. So many questions rushed through my mind… would she have survived if I had been around her? Was she lonely or depressed all through these moments? “Why Why Why?” my head screamed. I took baby steps towards the bed, staggering for strength as I walked across the room. As I held her feeble hand, guilt enveloped me for one particular reason, I sure wasn’t there for her when she needed me. She had suffered pain and neglect because I abandoned her. Toyin was the love I forsook. She reached out to me several times but I refused to respond. 

How much has procrastination eaten deep into your life? How has laziness given you a cruel identity? What/who is your Toyin? What are those things you have abandoned that has led to an unusual famine? I am not necessarily talking about big things (like personal Vision 20:20:20’s) but about caring for loved ones or the people that matter. Think about the abandoned talents left to die a slow death in the gutter, the ambitions that wait to become top priority.

What are those dry bones seeking to rise again?

Let me come out straight, my writing career had been dormant for over 3 years and this was caused by the I-will-do-it-soon/later syndrome. It recently dawned on me that my last article was written in 2014! Wow! Despite all the calls and questions I kept getting, I would always respond by saying I would write something soon. I had become friends with procrastination it now knew me by name and took me on the ride of inactivity for many months. Now I understand better the scripture: “Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest,  So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.”

It is amazing how we can drift away from the things and people that matter because we failed to check on them regularly. Like a machine, what you don’t oil is prone to spoil, what you don’t run is vulnerable to rust, what you don’t nurture is likely to rupture. Lack of necessary activity could lead to a stunted growth, a devastating drought one whose recovery might never be achievable or perhaps easy to work around. A brief moment of slack led to a long period of drought. As I held Toyin’s hand (in this case, my pen and paper), I knew it had yearned and waited endlessly for my return.

“Never again would I desert you for so long a time,” I hugged and planted a kiss. “Never again would I stagger or stumble on our walk to excellence and fulfillment. No more false steps, no more slumbers.”

Dear friends, please avoid procrastination as much as possible. It is an invisible sucker. Little by little, it creates a gap, takes away your strength and may soon rob you of self-confidence. Everything in life should be treated like a seed. Once it is not in the working process of planting and nurturing, it withers away.  We can easily develop a casual it-doesn’t-matter attitude when we fail to do what is expected of us.  But the truth is it does matter, first to you and of course to those who would benefit from that step or actions. So, why not make that call now, why not tell that person how much you love them, why not invest in that passion now, why not open that blog, YouTube channel or create that website? The key is to be consistently consistent, no more sloppiness or laxity.

There are many Toyin’s needing attention; a companion, someone who can reach deep into their heart to enhance their inner strength. Perhaps that would give them the guts to shrug off the weights that has hitherto held them down, the encouragement to defeat the growth of cancerous cells. It’s never too late. However, the question that drills a hole in my heart is: Would you find her when you return? 

N.B. Toyin in this context could be a living or non-living thing.

This article is dedicated to the memory of my late cousin Oluwatoyin nee Adebanjo who lost her beautiful life to cancer some years ago. (Story in this article has nothing to do with her).

A BEAUTIFUL TIME

Written by Olukokun Adedeji

I was broke, feeling extremely down. I looked at my chain of responsibilities and the huge budgets that accompanied my goals...certainly looks like the weight of the world suddenly jumped on me. I stared at my dream car as it passed by, in my head I could hear the music vibrating from its speakers. An SMS beep from my phone rudely interrupted the gbedu and for consolation I hoped it was a GTB or Diamond Bank alert. Not that I had recently closed a juicy deal for which I was expecting a credit alert, I simply thought maybe a good Samaritan had dropped an offering for me (not because I am God, but because s/he is good), or, perhaps, my attempts at hijacking peeps to drop something for the boiz had proven successful. It was such a trying period, something I wasn’t used to anymore.

This is April and this tale sure isn’t April Fool.

These are times when every word of encouragement evaporates as long as the desirable wasn’t available; the road bumps of life stagger us momentarily into doubting God’s existence and love for mankind: “Well...who knows? He's probably got favourites.” Now, how do you deal with those setbacks that scratch your skin? those disappointments that attach to you like an enclosed CV in yet another desperate application? How do you comprehend watching others achieve and you remain on that crazy stagnant spot? How deeply frustrating is it when that one thing you have so desired keeps eluding you year after year. How are you expected to keep keeping on? How courageous is it to don Gucci shades in order to block the reflections of you-can-manage-this substitutes that life offers?

Do I believe in miracles? Are the sweet stories, those happily-ever-afters, recorded in the Holy Book actually true? Or are they simply hyperbolic fabrications of a bunch of drunken priests huddled up in a conspiracy to heighten our psychological inebriation? Could the story of Abraham possibly be real? Through faith he obtained what promise? Puh-leeeez! Spare me those sweet words. Could Sarah truly have given birth at such old age? Could it be a fallacy or, perhaps, a fanaticised recording of the highest order? Can one’s faith pull through such long, trying periods? This is 2014, I think it’s better I faced reality. Every day, people go through challenges, “unfilmtrick” issues that occur in real time. Before them are mountains that pride themselves in their magnificent height and mass, the Goliaths that boast of their physique and strength, the constantly-said prayers that have stayed unanswered, and the yearnings that compliment daily routines. Can I ask where God is when we go through all this? Why did He deny some a child in spite of their long-term faithfulness? Why did the so-called breakthrough not surface even after much confessions and believing? Why won’t prosperity materialise even after constantly paying tithes and giving offerings as commanded by God? Why did Prince Charming delay his coming while the princess dove even deeper into the abyss of sleep? Why were we rejected that visa even after carefully preparing our documents? Why did we fail those exams even when we did our best studying? The thousand “Why” questions floods the heart like Hurricane Katrina.

Hannah was a woman of like passion, she agonised at the torments of the other wife. She cried and wailed while her trouble persisted, yet she held on and kept believing. Abraham obeyed, he did not waver nor stagger in doubt, latching on to the frame of God’s word and promises in order to keep standing.

Sometime in 19BC, a certain Remi Adesina also believed at 54. I never saw her lose her joy. Her husband, Rev. Kunle Adesina, a respected servant of God with a successful ministry with branches in several countries did all that was commanded by his Master - he had prayed for barren women who eventually delivered; he had named many babies, prayed for them as they grew up; and to make matters worse, he didn’t just watch some of them get married years after but had to conduct the joining process, yet he would sing songs to God in thanksgiving on their behalf. I remembered that for years they were both rejected visas to travel out of the country and many wondered why God whom the couple loves so passionately rejected their call for a change of story. Is God dead? Should He be termed wicked or addressed as the Lying God?

Staring at the work I had to do on my laptop on a lovely Friday morning of the 25^th of April, 2014, I had my BlackBerry connected to the system from which I often paused to steal a look at my pings. There I saw a message from Pastor Bimbo Alagbe, a man who had transferred some cash to my account a day before to finish a business deal we had. He has grown to become a man that I respect and so admire. He has probably returned to conclude the gist we had pending, I thought, but like an alabaster box which dropped on a solid surface, he broke the news of Rev. Remi Adesina’s delivery of a baby boy! What?! My mouth flung open and ended up in a round O. Surely I would have waved it off as an April Fool hoax if I had got it first day of the month. I saw the good news spread on Facebook like the popular gossips on Linda Ikeji’s blog. Still sitting down, I was able to comprehend the concept of timing as explained in Ecclesiastes. While still consumed with the nostalgic feeling experienced in Abraham’s posh city and Hannah’s beautiful duplex in the days of yore, the word “He makes all things beautiful in His own time” made perfect sense to me.

 Are there truly hopeless situations? I really doubt. There can only be hopeless people, better rephrased as faithless people. The foolishness of Herod came to limelight when God stepped in for the Israelites. God has never been and would never be late. Has He said it? He would surely fulfil it. Hey, God hasn’t forgotten you; He is just waiting for the perfect time to steal the show in your case. How celebrated was the miracle of Lazarus rising from death even when it looked liked Jesus took eternity to come heal his friend? How glamorous was Isaac’s and Samuel’s naming even when it appeared their mothers won’t be privileged to be called mothers.  If doubting Sarah could laugh and yet was still embarrassed with a miracle, if Hannah’s situation could be reversed, who says yours wouldn’t?  I can assure you that the promotion is coming; the visa is going to roll in; your wedding would be an online viral gist; your job would bring with it a fat salary; your car would be the talk of the town; your woman would be the envy of many. Dear folks, delay isn’t denial, all you have to do is to retain the mental picture of the bright future for what you see is what you get. Don’t curse God like Job did, trust me He hasn’t for once forgotten you. He is indeed awesome, and He would surely move those hard intimidating mountains, for He knows the exact time to step in. Remember, early in April I was so broke, it’s amazing, late April I am negotiating payment for a car. God surely would do exceedingly, abundantly above all we ever ask, think or imagine. He would always come and save you in your weary state. Cheer up, you are on God’s timetable and His time is almost here; your time of remembrance period has come.

“God’s timing is always perfect; we are the impatient ones”

– Akinlolu Zeinab Abiola

“God is able to do just want He said he would do/He’s gonna fulfil every promise to you/Don’t give up on God cos he won’t give up on you/He’s able”

– Darwin Hobbs

Abraham’s Pep Tweet

I woke up one Saturday to an air-conditioned morning. The room so cold, I hugged the duvet ever tightly. Looking up to the painted wall, I stared at the solid gold clock and it was just 6.30am. I picked my Blackberry Porsche to ping some of my peeps. “Hey guys!!! Who is awake to have a chat?” Ping I did for 2 hours and I remembered we’ve got a party. My friend was hosting his pals at the village square to celebrate his recent promotion at work. That’s the kind of gig for which we go all out to impress. I got dressed for the kill, took a shot of myself with my Blackberry Porsche phone (sorry I emphasized, couldn’t resist, just in case you’d forgotten the machine I controlled) and instantly uploaded to Facebook. I wore my New Musk perfume like a cloak and drove away in my classy Discussion Continues. One couldn’t have asked for a better in life. They call me “omo baba olowo” as I am certainly a king where I come from; a big boy in the city.

Monday came and I received the greatest shock of my life. (Looking back now, if Monday were a person I may have strangled him for hitting me a deck.) Lying cozily on my table was a transfer letter. Alas, I was being directed to move to another branch in an entirely strange region. How on earth would I sacrifice the Porsche(sorry, meant posh) lifestyle, my accomplishments, and the enjoyment galore? How do I start exploring a new land where, for crying out loud, I do not know what to expect? Gosh! I felt so dejected, should I take the risk or perhaps lobby HR to help squash the posting? By the way, my name is Abraham; kindly give me some minutes of your time.

As I ruminated on Big Boss’ instruction to leave town to an unknown destination, my gut tells me to trust and take the risk, especially as I was sure and convinced it is the I Am who placed the demand. Fear engaged me in a cold, tight embrace as should-I-or-should-I-not thoughts flooded my brain. I faced the dilemma to embrace fear or perhaps kiss the risk. Who would help me solve this challenge? So this is the point where I leave my comfort zone. “Oh God! Why at this time do I have to separate from my peeps? In whose house am I going to eat the next Sallah meat or Christmas chicken?” I gritted my teeth in response to painfully confusing thoughts.

You must be wondering: Did the father Abraham really experience such indecision? Only my almost-instant departure was recorded, but you sure don’t want to know the battles I had to face prior to the move. I watch you from my bosom and see you face similar fears; I know you’ve got dreams to pursue but the fear factor wouldn’t allow you leave that comfort zone. You have embraced the job like it’s your only surviving balm; you couldn’t take the risk of pursuing that dream that could have brought you wealth, fame and glory. You should have quit that relationship but you are so scared; the tall, dark and handsome guys have all left town. You should have submitted the thesis but feared your packaging didn’t meet global standard. You should have applied for that job but your poor grades in school depleted your confidence level. You daily told yourself you would take that step tomorrow, forgetting that tomorrow never really dies. The bull wags its tail at you in mocking jest; yet, amazingly, you couldn’t ‘romance’ the risk of taking it by the horn. What if I never left my kindred?What if Peter never took the first step en route the water walking sojourn? What if those lepers had not gone to the Syrian camp? What if Moses had turned back with the Isrealite at river Jordan? What if Esther didn’t approach the king on behalf of the Jews? What if USA didn’t invade Osama’s hideout? What if Seun Onigbinde didn’t resign from first bank to start BudgiT? What if Deji didn’t pick up a pen to write his first article? What if Chelsea had gone to Manchester City just to park the bus? (Lolz!) What if Bishop David Oyedepo became so consumed with the magnitude of the 50,000-seater auditorium dream that he refused to share? Hmmmm..., for every glory there’s a story, and these stories were 99.9% of the time planted in the same field where fear momentarily dwells.They grew via risk-watering.

I see you daily - in pains with the tie on your neck, sweating profusely even while the wind blows. You know this is not who you are; the fear of fear became the beginning of your wisdom. My child,your life revolves round your salary; you have gotten hooked by the shawarma that dude sends regularly, but as long as this defines you, you won’t make a mark on this planet earth.

I kissed the storm too. I chose to bear the pain. I left my kindred and my beloved city. I waved my comfort zone goodbye. I took the risk. I stepped out. I pursued purpose. I buried my fears. The rest,they say, is history, but just in case you played truant in your history class,I GOT THE REWARD. If you truly are my seed; if you truly want my blessings as possessions (I’m sure you are one of those who sing “Abraham’s blessings are mine”), then you would follow my footsteps.

I pulled a Houdini through Twitter security to post this 5000-character tweet (yeah, being the Abraham has got its perks) in order to remind you that it is very risky not to take a risk. I am certain you would end well if only you dare to take that very first step. Always bear in mind that if it brings an element of discomfort; if it makes your heart pound; if it hinges on your absolute trust in God, then it is most definitely a worthy dream. Be rest assured that the BigBoss looks down from above, stands with you, and is always ready to help you to fulfill it. I look forward to seeing the real you “uncaged”.

Hey kids, let me know when you are less busy so we can catch up on Skype.  I love you now and always.

Yours in trends,

@FatherAbraham (#OkoSarah, #Baba Isaaki, #Ore Jesu)

P.S                                                                  

Until you take that big leap you intuitively know to be right but lack the support structure, the unseen forces over your life won’t be unleashed. If you are experiencing no anxiety or discomfort about your moves,you are living within your comfort zone allowing circumstances dictate to you.

-         Poju Oyemade

There are risks and cost to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction.

-         John F. Kennedy

So many fail becaue they dont get started- they dont go. They don't overcome inertia. They don't begin.

-         W Clement Stone

.........for God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power,love, and of a sound mind.........

-         The Bible



written by Olukokun Adedeji

THE SULKING GIANT

It was a bright Monday morning, a day dreaded by many as it ends momentary relaxation and ushers in another 5 days of busy-ness. You know what I mean, especially if you reside in Lagos. Early rousing, road traffic, BRT queues, etc, usually accompany the start of a new week.

On this particular day, I prepared for work as usual, then noticed my cousin still on the bed. Are you kidding? "Bros, you should be up," I said gently. "Hey little brother, can’t you feel my pain?", he muttered. "I am depressed hence I've lost the zeal to work." I smiled and walked out to attend to the day's tasks. Very funny how one can hide under the umbrella of a challenge to run from expected responsibility. Yes, he had an issue with his wife but should that be the basis for embracing laziness? Well, he ended up not going to work for a few days and I guess he paid or would pay for it somehow when he returned to work.

Shouldn’t I be concerned about a brother who is going through a not-so-good moment? Yes I am or, perhaps, I used to be but for how long should he embrace disappointments and continue to make excuses for being unproductive? This is a job he just got, not even from merit but out of someone's concern for him, seeing him wasting away in such a pitiful state.  Isn’t it a good platform to therefore launch himself to relevance? For how long would he keep being "depressed"? It’s another week; millions of Naira are about changing hands in different parts of the country while my brother’s best therapy for his poor state is to sulk at home. Brilliant idea, isn’t it?

Humans love to be pitied; we want people to feel the pains we go through, we would always wrap our shortcomings with excuses to make it look good in the eyes of the public. Yes, I do that too (once in a while). Oh, how have great men underperformed, succumbing to the negative unfolding of things around. We pathetically paint the scenario as if it is peculiar only to us in the whole universe, as if it is a new development on the face of the earth. Did the Sun just have a baby girl?

I remember Gideon (in Judges 6). He was meant to be a great man, he was addressed as a mighty man of valour by an angel, a warrior expected to liberate his kindred from oppression. He sat under an oak tree when he was supposed to lead a hungry but winning army to battle. His people were in bondage, they had suffered at the hands of the Midianites for so long. Nothing seemed good about them hence the poor man buried his strength, he never saw himself as good, he accommodated the failure of life orchestrated by their long term defeat. Sadly enough, his fame was only known to the birds that resided in the oak tree. He was popular for nothing, a sulking giant, whose value was worthless.

“And the Lord looked upon him, and said, 'Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: Have not I sent thee?' And he said unto him, 'Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? Behold my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.'"

Excuses! The foreplay that robs us of the pleasures of victories, the dart that pins down our strengths, the bait that inhibits performance and efficiency. What’s yours? Tell me the stories that should bring you pity? Your parents died at your tender age, there was no one to send you to school; your father didn’t shower you with gifts and attention that’s why you became wayward; pretty Juliet broke your heart hence you want revenge on a lot of ladies; you finished with a 3^rd class, you weren’t selected for the interview; there are no jobs in town; you don’t have the capital to start that business; you weren’t born with a silver spoon; your father’s family prevented you from inheriting his properties; you attended a public school; you stammer; you aren’t as beautiful as Agbani Darego; there’s no one to introduce you to the MD of your preferred establishment; you failed the exam, blah blah blah. Please tell me more, dear friends? What is that thing that has never happened to people? 

Even Gideon crumbled at the face of defeat hence he needed a re-orientation by the angel to reposition him to the path of greatness. Are you waiting for an angel to do same for you? Trust me, you would wait taya. What if there’s no one to ginger or 'syche' you up as it were? What if no angel appeared to show you a sign? Would you stick to that appalling situation and continually 'romance' the negative mindset about yourself? The best God would do for you is to speak through your thoughts, His Word or through people. You need to rise up from beneath the oak tree for the journey to start; it is time for the giant in you to take a leap. Like Incredible Hulk, it is time to beat your chest to prove a point. You have got to nail those excuses to the wall for there is no permitted excuse for failure. Seest thou a man diligent with excuses? He shall continually sulk under the oak tree and shall never stand for something. In the words of Donna Krech, "whatever you put up with, you end up with."

True, we have setbacks and limitations in life, but learn to move above them. If God re-orientated Moses to understand that his physical disability (stammering) isn’t enough to stop him from success, believe me, nothing should hold you back. As for me, I know who I want to be and nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to keep me sulking under the oak tree.

I charge you to develop the right attitude always. Let the giant in you drown every self-doubt you have built up overtime. Look at each failure as a deposit made into the account that will help you write the check for your next significant success (Donna Krech). The difference between being mediocre and achieving excellence is you (Stephen Richards). I bet the giant in you is now awakened? See you at the top, commanding great success stories like Gideon.

Like the Guiness advert, there is a drop (no, oceanloads) of greatness in every man. Dear friend, I salute the greatness in you!

Written by Olukokun Adedeji

PAINFUL PLEASURE

Love at first sight, a phrase I remember first hearing during my secondary school days. Do people really fall in love the first time they meet or see someone? Nah, certainly not me. I'm not one of those who buy that ideology. Not saying there isn't that 'wow' moment - that moment you see someone and turn again to catch a second glimpse of them; that moment you see them the first time and a craving for friendship immediately leaps in you. (Un)fortunately for me, I recently found myself hooked on one of such moments. I had 'jejely' gone to do my job - cover an event for which I was paid, Lo-and-Behold!, I sighted a beauty made in heaven, one that caught my busy attention to the extent of wanting to catch another glimpse. No one pays a photographer to come admire a certain guest so I focused on delivering an excellent job by capturing the best shots, but still, my concentration waivered every time the damsel passed by. If she had known the magnitude of the torment her magnificent visage caused me, she probably would have stayed off my zone.

Fast forward...some months later, I encountered Lady Paloma at another event, and, amazingly, the same damsel it was who succeeded in swerving my attention at the event a couple of months earlier. Now, she being the chief bride’s maid, I envisaged a more distracting situation as I am guaranteed a close access to the made-in-heaven beauty (and a VIP viewing point). Well, since I am a single guy, I should neither be sorry nor accused for admiring a charming young lady. However, I could not shirk my huge professional responsibility hence I stuck to working rather than wooing. (Or I probably didn’t have the required 'liver' to start a conversation.)  Anyways, we got talking somewhere along the line as the moment of wanting to be friends with such a divinely configured personality eventually resurfaced. Of course, I didn’t let it slip and we exchanged contacts afterwards.

Mo, as she is fondly called, is such an amazing person. She is a take home to mama; a complete lady by the highest standards. She is smart, elegant, eloquent, godly and, of course, very pretty (winks). She is the kind of person you wish to wake up to see beside you every morning. Her thoughts bring up a special kind of smile to one's face. Tell me you won’t be fascinated by such qualities loaded in just one vessel. Mo became the fulcrum of my heart, the pillar on which my emotions rested. But alas! Mo was inaccessible. Many weeks pass, and I see her times without number only in my thoughts. (Yeah, I was able to be with her in my thoughts because 'love at second sight' had left an indelible mark on me.)

Love can be so cruel, especially when the desirable is nowhere near available. But why is the heart so stubborn? Why does it lock itself to pursue a rigid cause, especially when there are many other options begging our attention? Why do our passions embrace that which weakens the heart - that pleasure that is factory-fitted with pain? Why must that which fascinate us require us to make enormous sacrifices? Why does it request for so much? I know you like love stories but before you get carried away by the bliss of my moments with Mo, the pretty best lady, let me quickly make it clear that, this Mills&Booms Intrigue is certainly not the destination of this article.

So I sat quietly at my place of work ruminating, and discovered that there is always an amount of pain to endure for those things that really hold our passion. Ask any successful entrepreneur, artist, music star, etc, to tell you the painful moments and many sacrifices that accompanied the unravelling of their dreams. Things do not just happen by chance; there is always a price to pay. It took me two years to win an election into the exalted position of the 2^nd Vice District President of Leo District 404B Nigeria, just because I had stiff oppositions who were bent on stopping me from becoming what I had so much looked forward and loved to be. Do you know how uneasy it was for Martin Luther King, Mandela, and the rest of them freedom fighters to effect positive changes which they represented all their lives? Except your mother is as rich as Tetuila's who can afford to sponsor your album every now and then, it still, however, does not guarantee if such fame would be long lasting. Whatever ignites your passion would certainly require your attention. It would sometimes take from you your comfort zone and push you to go the extra mile. You can’t be a force to be reckoned with, a divinity, in your chosen profession if you aren’t passionate about it, and, trust me, such passion brings with it elements of necessary discomfort. Ask every leading student in the university how many candles they burnt while others became more intimate with their beds and pillows? Ask every leading athlete how they subjected their bodies to season films of rigourous exercise in order to claim the crowns they so desire. Ask every Nobel Laureate how many notes they tore away before finally churning out the masterpiece. Ask every designer how many times they struggled with several templates before getting the right one. Ask Thomas Edison how many times he tried before inventing the electric bulb; ask how he dealt with the scourge of failure which accompanied his many failed attempts. Try asking Jacob how many years he laboured before he got his true love from the deceitful Laban. For some it requires being rejected by their folks; indeed, some get thrown out of home. For some there is a temporal cease in that steady source of income, while for others it entails taking steps that aren’t too convenient. For some it would require a total abandoning of ideals or routine, while for others it requires investing a fortune in materials and equipment for growth. For a football star, it could be an extra practice; for a student it could be an extra research; for an artisan it could be an extra effort for skill acquisition; for a businessman it could be a prudent non-convenient approach of saving; for Romeo, it could be a little extra patience for Juliet to make up her mind. If it truly arouses your passion, be prepared to endure every burden associated with it. Whatever it is, it doesn’t always come served on an Alaba CD plate. Nothing good, they say, comes easy. And what is cheaply gotten does not last long rather things that are laboured for are certainly well appreciated for a lifetime. If I want to be the best photographer and I am not ready to learn from the trade masters or constantly improve myself by reading my way to excellence, then I am such a great joker. Does it come easy? I bet not.

Dear friends, we've got to go through the pains to enjoy the gains. We must travail to prevail, for without the painful push during a delivery process there can never be a successful birth. Have you ever wondered where the pain goes after the birth of a child? It makes no more sense; the joy of motherhood certainly eclipses it all. Why is a lasting pleasurable future preceded by transient, momentary pains? I guess it is for the occasion to be more dearly memorable. Jesus went through the process and rigours of suffering and death, then he resurrected to enjoy a class, status, and a name never enjoyed by any. Go through it folks, endure the pleasurable pain or enjoy the painful pleasure and see yourself rise to the very top of your game. May you get the prescribed dosage of patience and strength at all times.

Written by Olukokun Adedeji

TIME AND CHANCES

I returned and saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither bread to the wise, not yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill;…but time and chances happeneth to them all……ECC 9:11

Everyday looks normal as I read through the sermon note I had jotted in church on Sunday; it is important to position oneself to experience the golden moments that life presents which can only occur when we have learnt to recognize opportunities. In otherwords, everyday is pregnant with its own diverse kinds of opportunities and it’s when we make use of our own life-presented opportunities that we can truly experience our golden moments. How will a Bill Gate succeed if he didn’t plug into the need of fixing the deficiency of the I.T world? Why will a Nelson Mandela attain respect and amass global recognition if he had neglected the freedom fighting opportunities of his kinsmen? Why will an Ali Baba be referred to as the Don if he hasn’t recognized the need for comedy to be an industry in the entertainment circle? Why will an Otunba Gadaffi make the most irritating substance produced by man as a means of livelihood? Time and chances I guess or perhaps I should call it effective use of opportunities lurking around. This understanding therefore helped me to define TIME and CHANCES as the effective use of individual owned opportunities for maximum profiting.

As available diverse opportunities seems to be, do I need to position myself to maximizing them I asked myself still staring at the note as I carefully studied the characters Pastor Sola Osunmakinde had used as examples in the sermon. David, Saul, Ruth, Rebecca all had a common factor on the path of meeting with their chances which was the act of offering selfless service as I had written…(“David took food to his brothers and found out about Goliath”, “Saul went out looking for his father’s ass before he was arranged to meet Samuel”, “Rebecca had gone to fetch water for the house before meeting Abraham’s servant” and Ruth stuck to her mother-in-law and of course Boaz opportunity manifested”)…Then like the flashlight of a digital camera would appear, my eyes opened to the fact that these folks never met their opportunities or chances unprepared.

CASE 1:-Assuming Rebecca had gone to the well to fetch water and had forgotten the drawer at home, wouldn’t she had gone back home to pick it up? Would the stranger have been patient enough to wait for her? And eventually would there have been a discussion?

CASE 2:- What gave David confidence aside the fact that he had so much trust in God? Oooohh, I remember he had killed many dangerous animals with his sling or perhaps his hands in the forest while watching his father’s sheep. What if he didn’t know how to use a sling? Would Goliath have been killed? 

 CASE 3:- What if Ruth got tired to continue with the journey with her mother-in-law?  What if she didn’t have any agricultural experience, would she have gone gleaning in Boaz field? Maybe she would have had to enroll at a fashion school upon their arrival at Naomi’s village in order to make ends meet.

CASE 4:- Why did Kish send Saul to look for the missing ass? Was there no other son or could it just be because Saul was capable and had a track record of successfully executing assignments overtime? What process did Saul use in selecting the accompanying servant? Could he have done a comprehensive study of his father’s servants to know who should be the task partner? No wonder the servant fortunately helped him in locating Samuel the prophet God used in changing his story.

Certainly there was an amount of preparedness prior to the opportunity manifestation presented by each day for the above personalities; an opportunity they never knew was coming.

Have we learnt enough to pounce on the ready available opportunity for growth and manifestation? Are we really positioned, qualified and ready in terms of skills/personal development for the utilization of our time and chances? Have we exhibited the required love and selfless service attribute in our daily quest for survival? ..... All these questions I asked myself as I sat down pondering. Well as you struggle to find the truthful answers to these questions, don’t ask me what my answers and decisions are. However, don’t be surprised if you find out that I wake up one day and decide to resign from work, it could be that I have smelled the aroma of possibilities from far away and I quickly want to position myself by preparing before it catches me unawares…………

God bless the Man of God for that mind blowing message that has helped me in making some decisions I have been afraid of taking, God bless my friends Funmi Olusesan and Akeba Samuel for inviting me to church on this special day(which was my first time inattendance then)……

Yes TIME AND CHANCES indeed happens, but only those who have unconsciously prepared would enjoy its golden moment.


Written by Olukokun Adedeji

SMASH IT

So it’s my friend’s wedding and finally, I am going to be a best man. You don’t know how much I have wanted to do this even if it's just once. I could boast of having been a page boy and one of the groom's men a couple of times. But being the best man? That’s one trophy my cabinet wishes to display. Okay, I turned down being the wedding's official photographer...so what? But then, l was quick to make an alternative arrangement for the job, which at least met my (very high) standards. Therefore, permit me to bask in this momentous euphoria of being a best man for if it took almost 29 years for this one to come, I wonder when the next one would be.

1,2,3,4 and still counting, it seems 2013 is the year all my pals had been waiting for to get married. Should I be scared that I alone would remain unmarried by the start of the coming year? Not really! Even if every of my friends do marry, I am sure a certain Akin omo Akin would keep me company in the Single’s League (and I'm convinced he'd call me names after seeing this...lol). So the list of friends' child’s naming also grew. Hmmm, it seems these guys are sprinting to the point of flying, leaving a very huge gap for some of us to cover. Now for the ones that bought cars? The list was quite large. I paused momentarily to ask myself what was happening to me. I've got no wife let alone kids and I haven’t yet bought a car as I would have loved to. For a moment it looked like I have failed myself using the self evaluation pattern in comparison with my friends’ visible achievements. Jealousy enveloped me (at least temporarily). I was partially embittered; I kicked myself for not having something to at least show off or flaunt. Grrgh!!! My teeth bore the brunt as I ground them against one another.

Then I remembered! My Book of Bible Stories! That thick orange-covered book we read in primary school. I recollect the story of Cain and Abel; both successful individuals in their own way. One was a shepherd and the other a hunter. So there came this period where they had to make an offering, one gave his best while the other gave scrap of his produce. Of course, Abel’s offering was in turn accepted while that of Cain rejected. Foolish Cain got so jealous and angry, he became the first murderer ever recorded for killing his brother (not a super story thriller). 

Many of us are in no way different from Cain. Did I hear you say "I didn’t kill anyone."? You don’t have to but haven’t we silently or, perhaps, openly murdered our neighbour's character whose little edge seemed to be more glaring to the world? One thing I tried to figure out was if Cain had offered the best in his arsenal, would his offering have been rejected? (Certainly a topic for another day). So why the need to murder another for losing out in, allow me to call it, a contest? Did jealousy grow into hatred in Cain's heart so much that he needed to prove a point? Hey! Tell me you don’t get jealous too, willingly or otherwise? Spare me the self righteous attitude; we all do at times (most times for some). We beat ourselves for not having the things others have; we subject ourselves to undue pressure and pain for the successful achievements of others which we seem not to have, forgetting that no matter what, there is something about us to be grateful for. Cain wasn’t a failure in the business sense; perhaps if he had evaluated the reason for his failures in terms of goods sacrifised, he would have made adequate adjustments next time. So also if we search a little more keenly, we would discover we have achieved some great feats, rather than becoming locked in envy because of another’s achievement. 

Just this year, in all modesty, I spent a whopping one million naira on photo equipment; just this year, I thought of some other business concepts; this year alone, I spent more thousands of naira on a change of wardrobe than ever before. I looked at my itinerary for the remaining months and seeing the events I still have to cover, I smiled. So I might not be as rich as Dangote or be a groom like my friends - Odun, Yomco, Sola et al. I may not drive an End of Discussion like my Budgit IT founder friend but trust me, I haven’t been lazy nor have I made insufficient progress. If I have got nothing enticing to flaunt, I know I have got a thriving firm and some great ideas soon to be birthed. Chai!! So why the unwarranted negative feeling called jealousy? 

Priorities of individuals differ and that’s what counts. That someone decides to travel out doesn’t make him better or more successful than those who choose to stay back, after all the gates to nations are certainly not yet closed. Success is relative, hence you can’t and shouldn’t judge yourself with the template of others; you mustn’t place yourself running other people’s race because you certainly won’t win. Judge yourself via the accomplishments you have witnessed in your race and see if you have or haven’t made progress. If the latter is the case, work on yourself and fix the areas which pulled you back and (trust me) in just a short while, you would see yourself shooting up far beyond every Abel you once saw. My point is this: damn the jealousy, smash it into pieces, rejoice with others whose success is evident and celebrated while you finish in grand style the task that has been set before you. If there is something you must always remember, it is the fact that nobody, absolutely nobody, can marry your own spouse, nobody can own your car, no one can run your race. We all have different scripts and in each script there is a different shining moment for all. Break the jealousy, smash it completely and celebrate your proud achievements as you are the best you can ever be.

Congrats to all my friends! You sure would be invited when my time comes. It’s not about who first gets to the finish line, it’s about we all crossing the finish line and being decorated with a shiny gold medal.

Written by Olukokun Adedeji